Didn’t I just push him down 86th street to the local bodega for fresh vegetables and give him a lollipop for not touching anything???? Here we are at 18, graduated and on his way to UVM??? Saturday loved ones will gather and wish him all the best life has to offer! My feelings are jumbled and unpredictable even at times feeling inadequate as my husband and I send him off into the world. Have we done enough? said enough? Back when Band-Aids healed boo boos what will be the balm for his soul? The places that hurt? The sadness that occurs to every human being as they navigate the world? The disappointments, the rejections, the name calling, the feelings of lack and insignificance, at this juncture what kind of wisdom can you send a child off with??? My son has taught me so much about life even recently saying “mom when you yell at me it feels like you don’t like me…”
that was hard to hear but the good news is I heard it and was able to in turn listen and tell him I was sorry that I made him feel that way. It could be that I am trying to show him how hard life will be if he doesn’t do what I say…cause I know better but do I??? The one thing I have learned is that the big predictor of wisdom is experience and that I can’t give him. So why do I continue to insist I know better. Maybe his experiences will show another outcome. The one thing I do have is an enormous capacity to love and care for others and bring hope to a situation that may be dark and bleak. That is something I can share with him, that is my gift to him. Life doesn’t have to be hard when one has faith and I’ve always told him God is there to listen. So to my sweet boy I say take all your fears to that happy place where God is listening and watch the magic cause his plan for you my dear matty boys is better than you can possibly imagine.